The Four Nerds

Looks like this one might actually be fun!

Every real nerd enjoys a good Mega Man game. So much in fact that we tend to form arbitrary and emotional opinions regarding the quality of the game’s elements, especially the infamous boss robots (in this case). Many biased lists have appeared that attempt to rate the best and/or worst bosses of the series (including this one…http://retro.ign.com/articles/885/885610p1.html). However, too few of these lists include the Mega Man X series, which is newer, cleaner, and more fun (right?).

Thus, I present to you the best and worst of the Mega Man X bosses. In particular, I will try to convey the emotions that these bosses uniquely brought out in me, and why those emotions lead me to either like or dislike the character. I’ve decided to choose a standout characters from the first five games only.

Launch Octopus (Arbitrary Greatness Score = 1 Trillion)

Oh yea! Brains AND Brawn

This guy is the epitome of badass. First of all, he’s a frickin octopus. The Mega Man X bosses are inspired by various animals, and what is more intimidating and threatening than an octopus. I know I was always scared of them, and thus I am scared of the Mega Man manifestation. In addition to his natural form, Launch Octopus is full of attitude. At the beginning of a battle, he taunts Mega Man with the classic “you’re going down” gesture. As far as his attacks go, Launch Octopus mixes long range missile attacks with close quarters combat.

Launch Octopus is a great boss because he combines these elements above to create a character whom the player fears and is genuinely intimidated by. Thus, he easily tops the charts as the best Mega Man X boss of all time (he’s even better than some of those NES Mega Man Bosses…yes I’m talking to you Charge Man…you big dumb fuck train).

Duff McWhalen (Arbitrary Greatness Score = 3.14)

Remind you of anyone?

Duff McWhalen is a pretty sweet boss. Sure he’s clearly a rip off of classic whale antagonists such as Moby Dick and Monstro, but there is always room in my heart for another giant pussy whale.

I mean, seriously, what is more threatening than having a Whale eat you alive!?

Wait…what?…oh…he doesn’t eat you…uh huh…uh huh…oh he just throws ice cubes at you?…goddamnit…Alright everyone show’s over! I’m gonna go play some Mega Man 3, everyone knows that’s where the real action is anyway … screw you Mega Man X creators…and sorry Charge Man, I actually like you a lot.

Don't Mess With the Classics!