The Four Nerds

No. It does not.

Get Pumped!

When I found out that Nintendo was planning on releasing a new Super Mario Brothers for the Wii, I was pretty ecstatic. Nintendo has done a great job with the previous New Super Mario Bros. for the DS, and Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii is the 3rd best game of all time according to the review aggregator Gamerankings.com, so it was assumed that this game would be fantastic as well. News slowly leaked out about how great this game was, and a huge surprise was the fact that it would be the first Mario title to allow true simultaneous multiplayer. In fact, it seems that all news pertaining to the game has been examining this new facet of the game. However, I think that there are four other things that people should be talking about with less than two weeks remaining until the game’s release.

The Return of the Koopalings

Many of us who grew up playing Super Mario 3 and Super Mario World, not to mention the awesome cartoon shows based on the games, remember the Koopalings as Bowser’s mysterious, apparently motherless, children. Those of you who don’t, should probably watch this informational video:

That’s right, they’ve got badass magic wands and airships. What more could you ask for?? For some reason, these fantastic characters were replaced in later Mario games by this pathetic excuse of a creature:

Oh cool, a bib.

Sweet, just what I’ve always wanted to do, fight a baby. Bowser Jr. is probably the most pathetic excuse for a villain I’ve ever seen. Luckily for us, Nintendo is bringing back the Koopalings in all of their newly 3D glory:

So much cooler

I’m a little too excited about this, and even though they’re sharing the stage with Bowser Jr, I’m quite confident that fighting them will be just as satisfying as it was back in 1993.

The Penguin Suit

I don’t really understand why, but nerds love penguins. A solid percent of the shirts of shirt.woot.com are penguin related (see here here and here) and the mascot of the Linux kernel is Tux. Why wouldn’t we be excited for Mario being able to turn into a penguin?? This seems long overdue. Not to mention, Mario hasn’t had a good underwater travel suit since the frog suit of Super Mario 3. I’m excited to slide around and destroy a few goombas (and Luigi if he gets in my way).

The Difficulty is Through the Roof

According to several sources, Nintendo is taking the kid’s gloves off this time around – sort of anyways.

I've been training for this for 20 years now.

Apparently Nintendo has decided to reward hardcore gamers who have stuck by their system. The New Super Mario Bros. Wii is apparently, by far, the most difficult game in the series to date. After complaints about the simplicity of previous Mario games, this comes as welcome news, and it also alleviates concerns about the game’s “Super Guide” feature where the player lets the game’s A.I. finish a level for them if they’ve failed repeatedly. This opens the door for all kinds of good natured ribbing at your friends who have to use this feature to finish the game. Considering many of us have probably played previous Mario games so many times that we have to find ways to challenge ourselves, all this talk of teeth grinding difficulty gets me all riled up. Nintendo’s “Super Guide” feature allows hardcore gamers to sink their teeth into a difficult game without alienating any eight year olds or moms.

The Music

It’s certainly premature to cast definitive votes about the music and sound effects in the game, but from the videos thus far, it sounds great. Give it a listen yourself, and start counting down the days to the release:

Prepare your liver.

Alright nerds, I got something to keep you guys… “entertained” this weekend. The Super Mario 3 Drinking Game. Intrigued? You should be. It’s a (somewhat) simple game, so grab an opponent, a case of cheap domestic brew (root beer of course), and Mario 3 (the original NES version is always preferred, but we’ll let you slide by with Virtual Console, All-Stars, or any other version you got). Load up Mario 3, find a couple controllers, and get ready to roll.

Note: Know your limits.  Don’t drink too much root beer.  Don’t drive after drinking root beer.  Don’t do anything stupid.

The Rules

Play some game of chance to decide who plays as Mario and who gets stuck being Luigi.  You play through the game as normal, but certain things will trigger you, or your opponent, to drink:

• Getting hit by an enemy: Drink 1 second
• Losing a life: Drink 3 seconds
  • This is cumulative with the first rule
• Each extra life you gain: Your opponent drinks 1 second
  • This includes extra lives gained by getting 100 coins, the card flipping game, collecting mushroom/flower/star cards at the end of a level, 1-UP mushrooms, and the spinning Spade Matching game (more on this game later)

For instance, Mario starts the first level.  He gets hit once (one drink for Mario), finds a 1-UP mushroom (one drink for Luigi), gets hit again (one drink for Mario) which causes him to die (three more drinks for Mario).  Mario must drink a total of five seconds, while Luigi owes one second.  The active player is allowed to take all of his drinks at the end of the level as to keep him from having to pause to drink.  Simple enough?  Well let’s examine a couple more rules.

• When entering a normal Mushroom house to receive an item, one of several things can happen:
  • You get a mushroom: You drink 1 second
  • You get a flower: Your opponent drinks 1 second
  • You get a leaf: Your opponent drinks 2 seconds
  • You get any other item: Your opponent drinks 2 seconds
• Anytime you receive an item which can be used on the world map other than items from a mushroom house: your opponent drinks 1 second, with the exception of…
  • If you receive a “superior” item, your opponent drinks an additional second.  Superior items include Whistles, Frog Suits, Tanooki Suits, Hammer Bro. Suits, and Clouds.

Basically, whenever you receive an item (except mushrooms from mushroom houses), your opponent must drink at least once, twice if it is a good item, or a leaf from a mushroom house.  One last set of rules about the spinning matching (Spade) game:

• Whenever a Spade Game is available, you MUST enter it.
  • If you win, your opponent must drink the amount of extra lives you receive (2 for mushrooms, 3 for flowers, 5 for stars)
  • If you lose, you must drink the highest valued part you selected.
    • For instance, if you end up with Flower/Mushroom/Mushroom, you drink 3 seconds because of the Flower.  With Star/Mushroom/Flower, you would drink 5 seconds because of the Star showing.

Although not a rule, players who decide to finish a world without finishing every level should be ridiculed relentlessly.  Also, engaging in the mini game where a player challenges his opponent where they have to collect 5 coins is highly discouraged, but the player instigating this game must drink 2 seconds before he may start playing the game.  The loser must also drink for 1 second.  There are several extra rules that can be implemented if so desired:

• If more than two people want to play, players may split into teams.  Both members of a team must drink.
• If an odd number of players want to play, they should be split into three teams.  The third team must drink when either of the other teams should drink.  They gain control from another team when either of the other teams lose a life.  That team then must drink for both teams until one loses a life.
• Experienced players, try this for an added challenge: when you are the active player, you must drink directly after you get hit, no pausing.  This makes for some interesting situations – which hand do you want to drink with, etc.

Enjoy the weekend and give this game a shot.  Let us know how it goes.  And remember, don’t do anything too stupid.